Proverbs is for the most part a collection of pithy, memorable, world-wise sayings, which, if followed, should lead to success and happiness – or so the authors presume.

Here, at the very end of the Book of Proverbs, we meet a remarkable woman, an exemplary woman, a paragon who brings this entire book to a triumphant close.

Who is this superwoman? She is, Proverbs tells us, full of energy and always on the go for her family: up before dawn, preparing breakfast and organizing her day, she’s dressed for work with her sleeves rolled up; at night, long after the family is snuggly tucked into bed, she’s up burning the midnight oil, in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She is a real Suzy Homemaker, making sure the children have snow suits and matching mittens before the first snows come; she is a bit of a real estate maven: looking over a field she buys it, and with her rainy day fund plants a garden. She is a great shopper, going to Whole Foods and Stop and Shop to get the best, but also makes the kids’ clothes and knits their sweaters, but doesn’t stop there – she makes linen garments and sells them retail, and wholesales sashes to the local merchant. In her spare time, if it can be called that, she works out, pumping iron and doing step aerobics: she “girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong.” But wait, there’s more: she is a great teacher and always kind, never a harsh word or unhappy face. And yet all this productivity does not mean she is dowdy or fails to keep herself presentable: her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Who is this superwoman? You likely have your own picture of her. I imagine an amalgam of June Cleaver, Carol Brady (but in combination with her maid Alice), Martha Stewart, and Hewlett-Packard’s former CEO Carly Fiorina -- together with a glamorous splash of Grace Kelly!

In the patriarchal culture of the ancient Middle East, Proverbs’ woman of worth is every man’s fantasy, the dream of every male who believes that a woman’s chief virtue is in service of a man. Her value stems not from who she is, but from what she does, and more specifically, from what she does for her husband.

Proverbs thinks quite highly of this woman, and perhaps you do as well. But as for me, I can hardly stand her. Far from being a woman to praise, far from encouraging anyone to emulate her or take her as an example to aspire to, I think she needs help! You see, I worry about her emotional and spiritual health.

First of all, she is praised by the writer exclusively for what she does for her husband. She is valued as a “capable wife”, not for being a good person. She serves her husband as if he were a god. While she does all this work keeping the household going, he is hanging out in the “city gates”, taking his seat with the elders of the land – the ancient equivalent of the Cheers bar; picture Norm, Cliff and Frazier chewing the fat all afternoon with Sam Malone and you will get the picture. Yes, Christ calls us to service of others – but not to mere servility. Christ calls no one to be a doormat. Where else in the Bible but here are we told that a woman is to serve her husband as if he were a god? Where else does Scripture tell us that a woman, made in the image of God in every bit the same way as is a man, has value only because of what she does for her man?

Second, you have to figure that this superwoman is warping her husband and her children, turning them into selfish and irresponsible people. We all, the Bible tells us, have a God-given mission to serve others, to be co-creators with God, to be good stewards of the blessings we enjoy. Yet superwoman here is taking her husband and her children off the hook for this right and responsibility, teaching them instead that their sole duty is to sit back and be served, entertained, and taken care of. Why can’t she delegate some of this work to the kids? How else are they going to learn about the value of an honest day’s work, of the joy of a job well done, to appreciate all that their parents do for them? And why cannot her husband discover the joys and yes the pains of shared parenthood, the frustrations which come with trying to discipline children who necessarily test the boundaries and the satisfaction which comes when they finally start to “get it”? By over-functioning superwoman is, in short, turning out a generation of beer-guzzling, television-addicted, self-indulgent, entitled and socially disengaged male couch potatoes! And what kind of example is she to her daughters – how could anyone remain sane under the pressure to reach this level of perfection? Here is a tailor-made recipe for eating disorders and substance abuse.

The third and final reason I can hardly stand this woman is that the Bible assures us that we are saved by grace, not by works, that we are saved by the good love of God alone, not by any merit we might strive for through all our busyness and frantic activities. The key to our significance, both here and in the light of eternity, is not what we do, but what God has done for us through Jesus Christ. Superwoman has no room for God; perfect in every way, she does not need God to save her. Who needs a Redeemer when she is perfect? She has checked off every line-item on this shopping list of desirable traits for the capable wife, and so nothing is lacking.

Nothing, that is, but reality. In the end, this woman of worth is not real. She is a fantasy headed for disaster, a shipwreck waiting to happen that will take down with her everyone around her. Buy into her, and you tie yourself to a treadmill you can never get off of, a pursuit of perfection unattainable in this lifetime, a fool’s errand with an illusory pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Friends, don’t make her your spiritual model.

Let us pray. God of Grace, God who comes to us sinners and saves us from sin and death, save us from the conceit of self-perfection, from the pride of believing that on our own we have to do it all, that we can do it all. Give us the grace to leave room for you, that in knowing the blessings of your undeserved love, we might be freed to joyfully live this one life you have given to us, a life to be lived both in willingly offered service to others, and in the fullness of integrity you desire for us all, male and female, young and old. Amen.